Vent Sesh: Making The Good Positive Again

March 21, 2012

For the latest Vent Sesh I have a challenge I hope you can help me with (my secret bff, aka my counselor, does not have an appointment until next week; tear.) While I feel somewhat isolated I get the sense that in other ways many can relate. 

When something awful happens on a day that’s supposed to be special can you claim it good again?

That’s my question. Can you answer? My birthday is this weekend yet two years ago was the worst birthday. Ever. It’s a story you have heard in pieces — or at least the ones willing to read my sometimes lengthily prose. Deets: What was supposed to be killer 30th birthday was not spent celebrating at the house party we had planned yet rather spent in the hospital… paralyzed. No joke. I spent one month in the hospital four months after delivering my baby girl, two months after returning to work and it all started on my birthday. Scariest, freaking time of my life. My legs slowly stopped working. My bladder wouldn’t function and I couldn’t write my name. I saw my daughter twice that month. I had a million tests done, received high doses of steroids, got a special blood treatment called plasmapheresis done through a catheter inserted in my neck and used a walker to start to regain mobility.

I have accepted all of this but wonder: did it have to happen on my birthday? Could it have not waited a week? How do I forget what has become the anniversary of this shit and celebrate my day again? My situation reminds me of people who got married or have birthdays on 9/11 or another disaster, who realize milestones missed by their children on their birthdays, and much more. Someone can relate to my story, right?

A large part of me believes everything happens for a reason and I should kick the celebration into high gear. Reasoning: I had wanted to start this blog for years but it wasn’t until the return to my past job did not work out and I was let go that I had the time to do so. This blog is a HUGE dream of mine. I also started my own PR/branding business (I had never even imagined myself a business owner!) and now have time to take my daughter to ballet during the week, to take three hour lunch breaks if I damn well please (even if it means late work nights) and create my own destiny.

What I can’t get past? The parts of me you can’t see in my outfit posts. I have health issues. So many of us do. Mine are luckily not life threatening yet are annoying, frustrating, rest-of-my-life issues. Brutally honest fact: This girl can’t go potty on her own. My bladder became permanently destroyed. The first six or so months after my initial diagnosis sucked. I couldn’t go anywhere. I’d dehydrate myself, I’d pee through clothes or wear huge thick pads. Luckily, I met an amazing doctor who injected botox on my bladder. Oh yeah, you heard it… this chick has botox! Hah! It changed my life even though I still drink very little liquids (happy hours or wine tastings= not as fun), and am always thinking where I’ll be when I need to empty my bladder (it’s ultra consuming, mentally and physically). To pee, I actually stick a catheter up you-know-where (ouch!) four or five times a day in order to remove liquid from my bladder. I also have nagging neuro issues including constant pins and needles in my feet and legs.

I tell you this not for sympathy, but because I want you to know me beyond the smiling face and great ideas (haha, ok, hoping they’re great ideas!). Nearly ALL of us are the smiling faces you see each day and this — as of two years ago on my birthday — is who I am. I’m reaching out to TAGG readers asking you to help me — and perhaps others — see past this negative crap and focus so much more on how this awful time has been one of life’s biggest blessings. I’m 90 percent there but could use a friendly push!

And, if you don’t have ideas, no worries… a happy early birthday will suffice. xo

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Tagged as: how to get past a negative moment, life issues, vent sesh

  • http://www.pennypincherfashion.com Penny Pincher Fashion

    WOW Alyson - I had no idea! This is alot to handle and I can’t imagine having to deal with what you do on a daily basis!! I think it’s amazing that you have come to accept it in the way that you have and I also think it’s totally normal to be a *little* upset/bitter about what happened to you. But, thank goodness you were able to have your little girl & this didn’t all happen before your pregnancy/delivery…and thank goodness for the doctors who were able to help you recover to the point that you have! We all have so much to be grateful for & your story is just another reminder that we shouldn’t take even the little things for granted. Thank you for your willingness to be honest & share with us! Love you girl :)

  • http://orangiesattic.blogspot.com Orangies Attic

    I think it just gets easier with time… I had a “life changing” event happen about 7 years ago. It took a long time for it not to define me, but now it’s just one of the pieces of my history that make me who I am, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Hang in there… Orangies Attic

  • Katie

    Happy birthday blessings to you Alyson. I rarely comment on blogs but I wanted to share. While this isn’t nearly as traumatic as your experience, when I was planning my wedding, a hurricane destroyed my parents’ home, the church I was supposed to be married in and damaged the reception hall. I felt like God hated me for being so focused on stupid wedding planning details and that I had something to do with all this suffering. (How narcissistic!) Through counseling, amazing friends and family, all of us gradually recovered by counting our blessings and doing exactly what you have done: listing the wonderful things that have happened since - and perhaps because of - the storm. I think you should have a legendary birthday party and show the past that you own it, kicked it’s butt and are now heading out to party with your future. All the best to you!

  • Jenny Thatcher

    The fact that you are handing things as well as you do is pretty amazing in itself! I think you deserve kudos for that. Of course people can tell you all day how lucky you are etc, but it still sucks I am sure. That being said have you ever thought of adopting a new day as your birthday? Sort of like the kids who have their birthday on Christmas? And maybe you won’t always need to do that, but for now it might be a good way to celebrate.

  • http://www.statementsinfashion.net Collette Osuna

    Wow hunnie….I had no idea…what an ordeal….and on your Birthday.
    Well heres to wishing you happy ones ahead:)

    Hugs!

    June 1989 Jewelry Grand Opening!

  • sarah

    Al, you should use this time to realize that you are SO LUCKY to come out on the 100% better side of what could have been a much more horrible situation. You shouldnt look at it as the “anniversary” of getting sick, but the day you became alive??? Too cheesy?? I mean, after everything that happened, you made some dramatic changes in your life and all for the better. You wouldnt have acted on any of this if it hadnt been for getting sick. A birthday is the best way to celebrate these personal victories. So YES, OF COURSE, POSITIVELY celebrate your birthday in the biggest way you know how!!!!!!

  • http://www.bestofbklyn.com bestofbklyn

    Alyson, I just wanted to tell you that I think you are SO, so brave for being this open and sharing all of this- it’s so admirable that you’re able to admit that the set of circumstances you’ve had to deal with frankly kind of sucks. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all of the long-lasting effects of what you went through. Aside from focusing on the positive, what if you started celebrating your birthday a month before or after the real day? I know that might sound like a strange suggestion, and maybe it’s silly, but just an idea. One of my cousins was born on Christmas Eve, and his parents always celebrated his birthday November 24th so that he would get a “real” birthday and then still get to enjoy Christmas, too? Might be a dumb idea, but possibly one to consider, so you’re not trying to be “happy” when you’re focused on how frustrating the medical stuff was X years ago?

    Thanks for sharing, Alyson- your attitude is amazing!

    • http://www.bestofbklyn.com bestofbklyn

      Okay, your story has popped back up in my mind so many times today, and I think I changed my mind on what I said earlier. I think that unless you truly don’t think you can have fun on your birthday, you should reclaim that day and make it as special and awesome as you possibly can! That day may always be a little marred, but darn it, you’ve earned yourself a spectacular day to celebrate each year. Do something to celebrate how far you’ve come and what you’ve overcome, and just celebrate you being you! I’ve dealt with some health issues (not to the level you have at all- not trying to compare) the past few years, and you and your attitude and positive outlook are officially my new inspiration.

  • shayna

    It may take awhile, but you WILL be able to reclaim your birthday as a day of celebration. Five years ago I spent my birthday waiting to find out if my younger cousin was going to live through the day. It was obviously horrible, and she passed away hours after my birthday officially ended. I chose to spend the next few birthdays having dinner with my parents only, because it didn’t feel right to celebrate on a day when someone I love left us. This past year I turned 30 and my family threw a party for me, and I finally felt like I could enjoy myself yet still remember my cousin while doing so. I wear a necklace every day to remind me of her so while I’m always thinking about her, I still have to live my life the best I can and she would want me to celebrate and enjoy myself. I’m sure she would want you to as well : ) Happy almost birthday!

  • Rachel

    Hi Alyson~My health issues are different than yours, but I completely understand what you’re saying and going through. You are not alone in dealing with health issues that are annoying and frustrating but not quite life threatening. I am 34 years old and last year I started having seizures. Went to the ER, had a ton of tests done over 4 days, and they discovered a brain aneurysm. Although the doctors said my seizures were not related to the aneurysm, I believed they were since they started out of the blue. I just had surgery on my brain aneurysm in February and it went great. However, I am still having mild seizures, have been experiencing migraine headaches, and now have some vision issues such as eye floaters and blurry vision. I have so many doctor appointments to follow-up on everything and it can really get to you after a while. On one hand I feel extremely lucky to have caught the aneurysm and get it taken care of; on the other hand I get annoyed that I’m now dealing with all these other developed issues. I just wanted to tell you my story and let you know you are not alone and I do understand what you’re experiencing. All my issues started on a family vacation to Hawaii last July. I can’t think of that trip without thinking about how my health issues started during the span of that trip-definitely bittersweet memories. I just try and remember all the fun I had with my family during the trip and try not and concentrate too much on the seizures that started while I was there. Most days I feel very positive about things, but there are days when it all gets to me and I have to remind myself how lucky I am. Yes, our lives have changed and we are a little different than we once were (this has been the hardest thing for me to accept), but I’m hoping there is a reason for that and something good can come from it. Thanks for your post-it really hit home for me and I wish you the best!

  • http://www.RealGirlGlam.com Amber ~ Real Girl Glam

    I had no idea how serious this was. Even with all of your struggles I am happy to see you are taking something so difficult and using it as motivation. That takes a lot of strength. Just remember that there is never a good time for something bad to happen and even worse when it’s on a special day. But use it as an excuse to have a major ‘YOU’ day and make it that much better than the year before. I hope you have an amazing, wonderful weekend!

  • Elizabeth

    I like to think of those challenges in life as “speed bumps”. We are flying down the street of life, and every now and then, we just need something to slow us down and pull us back. I had a huge life changing event 5 years ago. I was angry at God, my family, and myself. Now though, when I look back on it, I see that “speed bump” closed my car down and altered my direction. It made me a better person, daughter, & friend. Hopefully, you’ll have that moment of clarity one day too!
    Happy Early Birthday! Start celebrating now! Just because you can’t have wine doesn’t mean you can’t have cake! :)

  • Crystal

    Allyson!

    There are no words to really describe what I’d like to say to you. I think you’re an extremely brave individual! With this life changing event, you were able to do what so many of us only dream of- a successful business and blog, time with your gorgeous daughter, and the ability to look at life from a different perspective. (can they do a bladder transplant/create an artificial one?) I think there were a couple of good ideas above (I like choosing another day to celebrate) but I think if you maybe thought about celebrating all of the things you have been able to accomplish in spite of your health problems, or even because of them, I think you have a lot of positive going on - so why not celebrate that if you’re not in a bday celebratory mood? Still celebrate YOU, just maybe in a different way. Big hugs! And whatever you decide to
    Do, happy early birthday!!!

  • http://www.chevronsandstripes.com sarah | chevrons & stripes

    Alyson, you are so brave, strong, and courageous for sharing this story with your readers. I didn’t know this story prior to reading this post and I can’t believe how gracefully you conduct yourself on this blog and in your life. It’s definitely easier to wallow in self pity when health issues arise but you have maintained an excitement for life that comes off in each every post (which is why I keep coming back)! I think you should ROCK out on your birthday because you overcame that adversity - not everyone could pull through an experience like that and come out on the other side as happy and charming as you did. Huge props to you Alyson, huge.

  • http://therefinedpursuit.com Veronica of The Refined Pursuit

    I knew you had overcome so much but I had no idea how much you were still dealing with. First I just have to say you are incredibly brave and courageous not only to move forward and creating your destiny but also to be so open and willing to share your story. Every time I see you out and about, the last thing that enters my mind is how much you have been through. Your attitude is always so positive. It’s tough to be reminded of that event each time your birthday comes around. After that event, you gained a new perception on life and since you have been making every moment count. What a precious gift to receive and on your birthday. Would you have made the changes you made had you not gone through that? Would your decisions be different today? Would you have been less compassionate? Given less? Enjoyed each precious moment less? Only you can answer that. It appears that on your 30th birthday you received a gift. The gift of living each day to the fullest and never taking anything for granted. Happy early birthday, wishing you many many more!!

  • http://www.susyhomemaker.wordpress.com Suzell Rodriguez

    Thank you so much for sharing. It can’t be easy. I think sometimes it takes reading someone else’s story to put your own “story” into perspective. Someone always has it better, sure, but someone most definitely has it worse. You are already so upbeat and cheerful, at least that’s the way it comes across on paper, that I think you’ve done a marvelous job of getting to that 90%. As your birthday rolls around this year, think of how incredibly far you’ve come and celebrate being young and being alive. God bless.

  • Lex

    Keep doing what you’re doing!! Your Vent Sesh posts are my favorite to read because your courage for sharing yourself with the world is so unspiring. The best advice I can give i learned from taking this “life coaching” type seminar called Landmark Forum Education..the gist of the whole seminar is that we too often let our past write our present and future; if there is no past then we only have the current moment to live with and the possibilities become limitless. Actually to quote my favorite show Rent-”there is no future there is no past, thank god this moment’s not the last…no day but today!” live it up for today!!!

    xoxoxo and happy birthday!
    Lex

  • Lex

    Whoops I meant INSPIRING!! Damn auto correct!

  • http://fashionbyalicia.blogspot.com Fashion By Alicia

    I knew you had health issues but I didn’t realize you still struggle on a daily basis. I am so glad you shared because we all go through things on our own and no one knows. Its easier to go through things when people know.

    As for your birthday, I think you should do some sort of themed party. Maybe a 20′s theme? That could be fun! Happy Birthday girl!!

  • http://stripesandsequins.com Grace - Stripes & Sequins

    Oh my gosh Alyson, I had no idea that you had to deal with this on a day to day basis… how awful. Thank you for sharing.
    You definitely need to live it up - throw a huge party!!! You deserve it.

  • Yodiwiltac (Diane)

    I’ve commented to you before that I admire how you put yourself out there with the vent sesh and what you are dealing with. Does it suck that this all started on your b-day, and a monumental one at that? yes it does. But I’d look at things now under the “overcoming adversity” lens. By your next b-day you were better and this year’s even better-reflect back on all the great things you have done since the sh*t hit the fan. You kept going, you didn’t let your issues define you or you wouldn’t be doing all the awesome stuff you are doing today. We all have a hand in shaping our destiny so I would be proud on your birthday about how you chose to move on after that experience.

    Almost 20 years ago I spent close to two years miserable b/c I didn’t yet know I had some mental health issues. I was a college drop out, I had a psychologically abusive boyfriend, worked a bad low paying menial job and lived at home. My life was going no where and I had really no hopes or ambition at that point. However- I did manage to climb out of the hole, put myself back through school and grad school and now I’m a lawyer with a husband and family better than I could have imagined. I used to feel very self conscious and embarrassed about those years as a “loser”. But now rather than focus on that I focus on the fact that I kicked my own butt into gear and did things I never thought I would/could do, and I’m so very proud of it. Maybe not comparable, but my point is it might still take you time to not feel bitter, but in the meantime I think you can reclaim your birthday as a celebration of you and all you have done since that day two years ago vs what you may have lost. I hope that doesn’t seem trite. Apologies for the long post. I have to stop now anyway I’m all teared up at work and I hate that :)

  • Amie

    Wow! You have a great attitude for all that you have to deal with.
    Happy Birthday!
    I hope each year it gets a little easier to not associate the horrible event with your special day.

  • http://www.queenofla.blogspot.com Jordan - Queen of LA

    oy vey. i can see from reading all the other comments that most of us had no idea. im so sorry for your health issues, but more than ever i REALLY admire your wonderful attitude and positive spin on life. you are an inspiration to me and so many other women and bloggers - and i hope that that knowledge will give you the strength to move past the bad and celebrate like the fabulous woman you are!

    wishing you the HAPPIEST birthday. you deserve it!

  • http://misscrystalmakeup.blogspot.com Crystal @MissCrystalMakeup

    First of all, that was a life changing ordeal and you have every right to be upset now and then. I know we all learn to deal with what’s handed to us but it sounds like you are doing an amazing job!

    Second, I can somewhat relate to the birthday/crappy life changing event. My birthday is September 11th. Yep, 9/11. A day that will forever be changed in many lives. My birthday will forever be shadowed by a tragedy. The first two years are the worst. So with that said, I hope you will start to feel better next year. I almost don’t feel I have the right to celebrate my birthday anymore, at least not on that particular day. It’s just a sad reminder. I still get looks from the pharmacy counter, etc when I give my birth date. So I guess I’m not the only one feeling sorry for myself that I have that birthday, lol.

    Like with every bad thing that happens, it’s a time to be grateful of the good things in our lives. Birthdays are a special day in all our lives and I just try to be thankful that I’m able to celebrate a new one each year. Hope your birthday is great!
    xoxo~Crystal

  • Lacey

    First off… Happy 32nd Birthday Alyson! I definitely think it’s time for a 32nd birthday party redo… You’ve come so far. And, although I truly despise the saying “everything happens for a reason”, I believe that most of the time it does. I cannot answer the why, but it seems to me quite obvious (I’ll get to this point in a sec). I don’t know why you have to live with such annoyances like your bladder issue, this makes no sense to me- and most likely there isn’t a reason. Your bladder issue is so much more than an annoyance- it’s life altering. Most of us couldn’t even imagine (I sure can’t).

    Now… Back to the reason. My question to you is this. Would you have left your job on your own to start your own company and this blog? How much of Sarah’s life would you be missing if all of this didn’t occur? What happened to you is not fair (by no means am I saying that it was), but I think God has enormous plans for you my friend. I really do… In order for one to be truly successful they must appreciate the success. In order to appreciate what we have (including success) we must struggle and fight. It make the success so much more gratifying- it’s like exercise. I think (and this is just what I think) that all of this has happened to you to keep you real and to keep you humble on your journey to where ever it is your headed. Big plans friend, there are BIG PLANS in store for you and your 30th birthday was just a speed bump along the way with a rebirth. You are an AMAZING and inspiring young woman Alyson! If you are anything like the girl I knew way back in 8th grade you have never needed a reason to celebrate— But this, my friend… Your new life is absolutely something to celebrate and you MUST take back your birthday and celebrate everything you have become.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE MOST INSPIRING PEOPLE I HAVE EVER KNOWN! SUCCESS LOOKS GOOD ON YOU!!!

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo- Your old 8th grade pal- Lacey

  • Tiffany

    I don’t have anything particularly profound to say but I think you should fully embrace your birthday and love it! Happy early birthday girl - here’s hoping you do something spectacular!

  • http://www.mydressyways.com My Dressy Ways

    Alyson, I had no idea this was daily for you. With all that you’ve done as an entrepreneur, blogger, mom and now as friend of mine - you are no doubt a fighter and one of the most amazing women I’ve never met! ;) Celebrate your birthday girl because if anything, you have been blessed with another year to reach all the accomplishments you’re meant to achieve. With all the things we balance as women, you have THAT much more because of your health, that’s amazing. And I complain. :(

  • Susan

    I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday!!! Your story is such a great reminder that not all is as rosey as we perceive them to be and all of us are fighting some sort of battle, some bigger than others, and that we all need to give each other a break. I’m sorry for your troubles and yet couldn’t help but see some bright spots in your story..you had your baby girl before this happened meaning you will always be a mommy and that gift was given to you and your illness did not impact your baby girl’s health. I know you aren’t able to have more children now but I think of all of those women who cannot even have one child of their own and think that somehow you were spared by getting sick after she was born. I hope you can see past the crap and see that your birthday is a sign that you are not dead, you are here, you might have a rough road but you are here, you are a wife, a mother and you are very much living your life..that’s something to be thankful for….have a happy birthday and thank you for sharing with us, your loyal readers…
    :) suzi

  • http://www.bonbonrosegirls.com Kristin

    You’re a warrior lady! I hope your bday will start to give you joy rather than remind you of this challenge!

  • Nicole

    Alyson - you are an extremely brave and inspiring woman! I know how hard it must have been to share this story with everyone - but look how many people you have touched and helped! I know how hard it is to have your birthday marked by something terrible - my dad passed away a few days after my birthday in 2005. A day later - hurricane Katrina ripped through New Orleans leaving me w/out a place to work and learn (I had just started my residency 2 months ago!). I was luckily home with my family and was able to say goodbye to my dad - but for many years I just didn’t want to celebrate my birthday because the memories were too strong. I have to say that on my 30th birthday my friends planned a big party with lots of surprises and it was totally worth it! I have now been able to fully enjoy and celebrate my next 2 birthdays and plan to do so for many many more years to come. Now it’s the good memories that make me smile and I know how important it is to have a good time and live your life because all too often it’s taken from you too early.

    That being said - enjoy your birthday and do something fabulous! Use your birthday not as a reminder of how your life changed but how you lived through it!
    xoxo

  • Tracy

    Excited to celebrate the big day in style with you next week!! And I think we need to re-plan the house party ( ;
    XOXO

  • Patti L

    Alyson, you are such an inspiration to me. I am so sorry about your health issues. No one would ever know because you manage to do so much in spite of your difficult situation . So, yes, I believe you will be able to enjoy your birthday again. But, it certainly will take some time. I believe you and I have discussed this before here. Life can be so difficult. Why do bad things have to happen to good people? I used to think that if I always do the right thing , only good things will happen . It simply isn’t the case. I am learning to accept that fact, but it isn’t easy. My best to you and your family. You so deserve to enjoy your birthday. Patti

  • Lindsey

    Hey Girl….I vote that you should celebrate big! Go for it, you have come a long way and should be very proud of yourself :)

  • http://www.thesuburbanmom.com Jen

    I think that every year that passes it will be easier to once again celebrate your birthday. I am not sure how time has the magic to make that happen, but it always seems to. Not so extreme as your issue, but on my 29th birthday I had my first bought of vertigo that landed me in bed for nearly two months and plagues me with intermittent boughts that land me flat on my back. It’s not a daily issue, but for a long time it was a constant worry every spell would be as bad as the first.

    So take your time, celebrate as much as you can each year, and I bet you will be ready to party before your 40th!

    Happy Birthday Alyson!

  • gina doyle

    Happy Birthday! I use to think that if my birthday sucked everyday following that year would also suck. As I grew older my “theory” continued, that is, until this year. I procrastinate and mope about my job everyday. It consumes me. So much so that I postpone everything in life waiting for work to get better. It doesn’t it just continues. Recently on a short vacation, I postponed something one day because “I would do it the next”. Well, the weather that next day was not good for the event that I postponed from the day before. At that moment, I realized I am losing my entire life waiting for a better day. Since that trip, I have tried to start living my life in the present, not waiting for the future. It’s hard changing but I am making progress. I have only started reading your blog since January 2012, and this VENT SESH is more reinforcement to live everyday like it’s your birthday and life is the best “GIFT” ever. Thanks for sharing. ENJOY!

  • http://used2bfat.tumblr.com/ Ally

    You’ve been through a lot - I completely understand viewing a day so filled with negative memories with dread.  But maybe instead of focusing on how awful that day and the ensuing months were, you can look at how strong you are to have overcome some incredible obstacles.  Even though you still have challenges in your life, you’ve lived out your dreams with this blog, have built your own business, and are living an all-around great life.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

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  • Nicki

    Happy Birthday Alyson! Your strength and dedication truly amazes me. You have jumped over many hurdles in your life and have landed on your feet! This deserves a celebration! It’s definitely hard to understand that “everything happens for a reason.” You are a true inspiration to all! Rejoice and celebrate all of the amazing things in your life like Sara, your husband and your career! L’Chaim!

  • Christine Hibbs

    Faith and belief that future birthdays will be better.  You have to believe.  I had a similiar situation happen on Christmas and I just have to believe that future Christmases will be better.  Also, on one of my worst days ever (moving out of my house due to a divorce), I went through a drive thru and no lie, the lady in front of me who did not know me paid for my order.  I put my car in park and got out of my car to thank her.  I started crying told her what I was going through, how much that $3.69 meant to me and she said that she had been divorced but found a man and I too will find someone to love me.  Just a little reminder that  someone’s looking over us.

  • Julie Spear

    I am finding this incredibly bizarre to read this post, as I can relate to a whole LOT of parts in it…. I don’t know if you will read this comment on a couple month’s old post, but I HAD TO comment…. last year at this exact time, my brother-in-law had the very same condition you describe….he began to be paralyzed, and at first they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him, but the plasmapharesis finally began to make him better. He was in the hospital from Memorial Day (US) weekend, until late November, and at one point was so paralyzed that he had to be placed on a ventilator. that was the lowest scariest part…my other sister and I kept vigil with my sister (his wife) and slept in so many hospital chairs and the nurses hated us because we bossed and questioned them, but we didn’t care. The next part of your story about going back to an old job and getting canned, JUST happened to me, and I was thinking of going a whole new direction, possibly blogging, or something… I haven’t figured that out yet, but I WILL. Also, my birthday is marred by the passing of my Mother-in-Law…. and it is so hard to feel happy and celebratory when it is the anniversary of the day my kids lost their grandmother, etc…  Finally - I hope you didn’t think I would end this with some great logic on how to make all of these God-Awful situations make sense, and put the happy spin on them… because I totally don’t have those answers…. but, I CAN appreciate your feelings on all of these, and I think that YES you should definitely take any opportunity to celebrate your life, your happiness, and your dreams because these up and downs ARE life, right? and if we have to suffer through the sucky parts, then we deserve the celebrations just that much more.
    Thanks for sharing, and I am adding you to my blog reader right now….
    Julie

  • Erika Batista

    Wow, Alyson, this brought me to tears, because you just never know. You are more than a fashion blogger inspiration to me, but an inspiration as a human being, as a woman, as a mother. I am so glad you are well now. I would’ve never imagined behind your cheerful smile that this happened 2 years ago. It is very true that every thing happens for a reason. As I sit here in my office for the past 6.5 yrs - and soon left without a job, you truly strengthen me. Thank you. Because my “issue” seems like nothing right now. And tells me what I know in my heart, that right now it’s MY time. Thank you thank you thank you.

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