In true Pour Your Heart Out fashion, I’m sharing today something that I think deserves a bigger platform… something that women need to discuss more often (past posts: weight, lonliness, secret bffs, etc).
Today’s topic: compliments. Or rather, the inability for most women to take one.
I’ve felt compelled to write this for a while now and finally did after I complimented a gorgeous friend who is looking extra smokin’ after dedicating a lot of time at the gym. Instead of saying thank you, she replied by insult herself, what parts of her body she still doesn’t like. I told her — and now I do the same to other women, too – just say THANK YOU.
Most men never think twice. You say nice shirt, they say thanks. And, for the most part, it doesn’t even matter if it’s too tight or if it would look better if they were 10 lbs. less. They take the compliment and move on.
Women: I like your top. Response: “yeah, it’s OK. I got it to hide my flabby stomach.” Don’t get me wrong. I’m not excluding myself from this abusive behavior, but I’m starting to see a pattern. We’re just so critical of ourselves sometimes. And, the more I connect with more of you, the more I realize how awful and self destructive this is. Not only do we need to give ourselves a break, why highlight to the whole world our insecurities and tiny little nuances about a mini part of our body that no one otherwise notices?!
We need to accept a compliment, to celebrate ourselves…. where we are at this moment.
The moment I simply say, THANK YOU, a smile comes over and at least for an instant I feel good about what I’m wearing, how my hair looks or how funny I am (ok, that one doesn’t happen as often but let’s pretend! hehe). Embrace the positive qualities of yourself (and if it’s a shirt someone likes it obv means they’re complimenting your killer good taste. natch).
I’ve also made a conscious effort to start complimenting others more often, especially strangers, BUT… only when I sincerely mean it. I swear women don’t do this enough (possibly because of subconscious jealously?!). Offer up a deserved compliment and get ready for some mega-watt smiles, radiating happiness and some ”wow, did someone actually compliment me” shock. It’s the best.
And, while I’m on the
topic rant of not being able to say thank you, there’s women who say thank you and then — and this is what I’m most guilty of — proceed to tell everyone where they bought an item and how much it cost. It’s one thing to tell your good friend or mom, or for a purposeful reason, but to someone you don’t know well, your colleague or client? Say thanks, give an inner chuckle and move it along!
We all work too damn hard being our best version… why are we getting in our own way? That’s all from The Average Girl’s Guide for today.
YOUR WELCOME! xo