Vent Sesh: You Before Me
I love you and I usually think you make me wiser, funnier, and think more critically and creatively. However you’ve made me sick. Ok, ok, before you start hating me, hear me out: I’ve been feeling like crap since Thursday night. Yet who struggled through posting for Friday and her first weekend link roundup (which I’m so excited about starting, by the way!)? Who I sat in bed Sunday night laying out Monday’s post, with a fever and awful headache? And, who went to the doctor on Monday, foolishly went back to work for a few hours and then, instead of napping, felt too guilty to sleep and developed Tuesday’s post about coffee table styling? Think you guessed it…
Turns out, I have pneumonia. The doctor called on Tuesday after checking my chest x-ray. I’m not sure who gets that in the summer except me but regardless, I’ve been trying to power through it. For you. For my clients. Really, for everyone but myself. Why? Why am I always last and not to be a bit harsh, but why are you always first? It’s because I love you so dearly. It’s because I love this blog so significantly that I’ve made it okay to devalue me. And, that just ain’t cool!
What’s interesting is that this is one of my most frequent conversations with bloggers: non-posting guilt. Obviously if I had time to plan further out as I should a little sickness might not be so bad but I’m often writing posts just a day or two in advance; even when the schedule is determined long before. Like other bloggers with big visions, a lack of regular posts can equal decreased traffic and engagement, which can lead to decreased revenue potential and more, or even just the chance to grow and not remain static over time.
While I’m an insanely competitive person I need to give into myself and place me first. It’s going to be a challenge as I often place others before me. Can you relate? Do you do this in your own life? It reminds me of a funny-in-hindsight story from my previous job. Following a major hurricane, my boss demanded we return to work despite the fact that gas was low, traffic lights were out and debris was everywhere. I like to think that my job in PR is/was that important however it’s not. Not more than my safety. And, this blog is truthfully not more important than my health. If I miss one day or even a week (gasp!), it will still be here when I return. These are really blips on the screen.
So, I’m going to take care of myself, not promise you a post for Thursday or Friday, and hope you’ll come visit this weekend for a roundup of my favorite links… assuming I’m up to getting it live (ok, let’s not go to extremes: there’s no way I can go longer than three days; I’m a work in progress).